Friends (2014)

*I haven't changed anything in this piece as it's one of my favorite stories and I can see how my writing had shifted over the years. I write how I think. I love thinking about my life and the people I love or have loved throughout time. Friends are so important, and childhood friends are so necessary. I still connect with "Margo" who's actually Mary. I love having friends who I can connect with at any point in my life and feel like no time has passed. Those are my favorite moments.

I think I was about 19 years old (Maybe 20). I was attending community college just after my arrival home from an exchange program in Iceland. I had found a one bedroom apartment close to school deep in the Portland suburbs, living with an acquaintance found through a friend of my sister (lesson learned: never move into a one bedroom apartment with someone you don’t know… creepy things can and will happen). It had been a rainy day and the sun finally decided to show itself. I took the opportunity to take a long walk. Living in Oregon, you learn how to take advantage of the sunshine, no matter how brief it may be. While walking I got the urge to call my childhood friend… I’ll call her Margo.

Margo and I met each other in the second grade at Jefferson Elementary School in Coquille, Oregon and remained best friends throughout adolescence. As little girls we spent thousands of hours pretending to be scientists, princesses, inventors, doctors, witches and anything else we could imagine. We wrote letters to each other, told each other secrets, had sleepovers and giggled in the dark. We had a game where one of us would play a tune by tapping a melody on our belly and the other would have to guess the song. This would lead to hysterical laughter lasting late into the night. As we grew up and puberty set in, Margo and I became more competitive (in a way that pushed us both to be better and I think smarter) trying to outdo the other at everything we attempted together. Margo was one of those friends that could jump higher, run faster, was always more creative. Margo never had the issues I had with reading, math and writing so naturally she received better grades. In the sixth grade both of us joined band. Margo chose the flute and I chose the clarinet, so at least in that setting we didn’t have to compete against each other (although I’m sure we tried). Growing up our friendship transformed into a sisterhood where we both loved and hated one another. We knew how to harm each other, but we also knew how to heal and encourage laughter. We gathered different friends but always acknowledged each other's life events and always reached out to each other when necessary.   

While walking outside, I could smell the rain on the cement. At this time in my life I was particularly lonely, as I hadn’t really made any friends and was living in a brand new place. I had a new cell phone, which I purchased the week before at school. Cell phones hadn’t existed in the states before I left… it was so weird to call someone out in the open. I dialed Margo’s number and she quickly answered. “Hey Margo, its Morgan,” I said in a cheerful, bouncy voice. “Morgan! Hey, what’s going on?” She replied. I’m not sure how much time had passed between this and our last conversation, but that never really seemed to matter. We always seemed to pick up where we left off. I called Margo hoping she could help me remember a particular song we had played in high school band together. I started to hum the tune, and Margo jumped right in. While on the phone we went through the entire concert piece, me humming my part and her humming hers. We were perfectly synchronized and if the other parts were present, it would have been a perfect rendition.

This was how it was. We would laugh and reminisce about school and life… These calls/conversations always made me feel right again. It’s been 13 (18) years since that phone call. Our lives for a time went very opposite directions and sometimes I wouldn’t know what was happening in hers. But that ignorance wouldn’t last long. I’d get an e-mail or a phone call every 6 months or year filling me in on her life events. 

This last weekend I attended Margo’s baby shower. I’ve seen her fall in love, get married and turn into an amazingly gifted woman. It’s crazy to think about those two little girls wearing dresses 10 sizes too big, telling jokes, pretending to save the endangered animals of the world. Sitting in the room watching Margo open her gifts for her baby girl was precious. How lucky I felt to be there, how wonderful it feels to be a part of a person’s lifetime, and how amazing it is that I will be part of a new one. 

Life itself is precious and friends like Margo, who know the core of your being remind me that many things in life are constant. We often forget about these things and become consumed in the ever changing chaos of the world. Over three years ago I was sitting on my bed contemplating life and death. I was in the dark completely consumed by an awful depression (I was drowning in a multitude of self deprecating thoughts). I felt lost and alone and I couldn’t see the love people had for me… I couldn’t accept their support. I had to make a choice to either appreciate life and be thankful or remain in the dark and shut out the world… I haven’t turned back. Sitting in a room with an old friend, watching her smile, watching her move into motherhood reminded me that life is full of moments. There are many moments that are good, many that are bad, and many that don’t seem to matter. I’ve learned to look at life and friendship as a gift and to be thankful that friends like Margo exist. They are the deep breath we often need to remind us that things are good...that we are okay.  

I welcome you to think about those friendships that have been a constant in your life. To reach out to those people and check in.  We have a very short time on this planet and we often forget about those who have been on the journey with us, who understand our past, who know who we are. I’m thankful to those people who are my friends, who always will be. Thank you!