Love Letters

How long does it take for you to contact someone these days? If you like someone how many tools can you use to reach them? I personally have fallen into this space of instant gratification in society today, especially around interacting with other people. Remember when we didn't have Facebook, Twitter, or even e-mail? I do. I remember how much more relaxed life used to be, how I didn't expect to hear back from family, friends or boyfriends right away. I remember writing letters to family or distant friends or paramours (using that word in place of lover... just because I like it). Do you remember the enjoyment of getting something in the mail... getting a letter from someone you longed to see or hear from?

In the last year or so I've been buying more stationary, writing more letters, sending more notes. I try to write notes to my friends when I have time. I like to write and know the recipient will eventually have the letter in their hands. Regarding love letters... I like to imagine the person I love receiving the letter, reading over it and smiling, and (hopefully) putting somewhere where they can see it. I know with e-mail you can read it over and over again and you can print it out, but having something in your hands that someone has sent specifically to you is special... In my opinion.

I didn't date much in high school but during my junior year I met a boy while visiting Boise, Idaho. We wrote letters back and forth to one another for about 6 months. I would write about school and life in general and he would do the same. I visited him once but I admit the letters were the best part. I would wait for the letter to arrive, tear it open and read it over and over again (until it was falling apart). It was wonderful having something that was once in his possession, something that was intended just for me; the words intended just for me. Looking back now, it was the anticipation that I loved the most. Waiting for that precious information. I remember taking so much care in writing, making sure that my words were legible and my feelings were conveyed. It is, to this day one of my favorite relationships I ever had. The experience was excellent practice in communicating emotion through writing.

As an adult my words are more thoughtful and the content more luscious. As I write, I try to look up old love letters and learn new ways of communicating familiar feelings. I try to think of ways in which I can convey sentiment and illicit reactions that will add to the dynamics of the relationship over all.  I admit (as many of you have probably noticed) my vocabulary is not that extensive, but as I'm trying to live a more dynamic life, learning how to use words more eloquently is part of that mission. Seeing what other writers/poets have have written in the past, gives me the appropriate tools to express myself. For example, I was writing a letter the other day and came across the following piece from the book A Wallflower Christmas by Lisa Kleypass. Pay attention to yourself, how you react to the words used and how you would feel if this letter was for you. (WARNING... It's a little racy).

“The letter had been crumpled up and tossed onto the grate. It had burned all around the edges, so the names at the top and bottom had gone up in smoke. But there was enough of the bold black scrawl to reveal that it had indeed been a love letter. And as Hannah read the singed and half-destroyed parchment, she was forced to turn away to hide the trembling of her hand.

—should warn you that this letter will not be eloquent. However, it will be sincere, especially in light of the fact that you will never read it. I have felt these words like a weight in my chest, until I find myself amazed that a heart can go on beating under such a burden.

"I love you. I love you desperately, violently, tenderly, completely. I want you in ways that I know you would find shocking. My love, you don't belong with a man like me. In the past I've done things you wouldn't approve of, and I've done them ten times over. I have led a life of immoderate sin. As it turns out, I'm just as immoderate in love. Worse, in fact.

I want to kiss every soft place of you, make you blush and faint, pleasure you until you weep, and dry every tear with my lips. If you only knew how I crave the taste of you. I want to take you in my hands and mouth and feast on you. I want to drink wine and honey from you.

I want you under me. On your back.

I'm sorry. You deserve more respect than that. But I can't stop thinking of it. Your arms and legs around me. Your mouth, open for my kisses. I need too much of you. A lifetime of nights spent between your thighs wouldn't be enough.

I want to talk with you forever. I remember every word you've ever said to me.

If only I could visit you as a foreigner goes into a new country, learn the language of you, wander past all borders into every private and secret place, I would stay forever. I would become a citizen of you.

You would say it's too soon to feel this way. You would ask how I could be so certain. But some things can't be measured by time. Ask me an hour from now. Ask me a month from now. A year, ten years, a lifetime. The way I love you will outlast every calendar, clock, and every toll of every bell that will ever be cast. If only you—

And there it stopped.”

After I read that... I was feeling the sentiment. Isn't it amazing how words can reach into us, find a piece of familiarity and bring forth a reaction. Imagine holding those words in your hands, looking at them over and over again knowing they were meant for you. It's definitely not Shakespeare, but I appreciate how raw and real it is. Yes, we can project that sentiment out in the world through e-mail and other mediums, but I think it's more real and more intimate when we're holding on to them; when they are palpable.

Now the letter I wrote was not as intense as this, but it inspired me to be more open and communicate something true.  I'm not saying that these feelings cannot be portrayed through e-mail or Facebook, but I feel a letter revival needs to happen. Something about this digital age has changed how we connect with people personally on an intimate level.  We don't see people's hand writing, touch something that they've touched, feel that personal connection or anticipation. We might still but it's definitely been spoiled in my opinion.

So... I challenge you to make an effort to pick up a pen and write a nice letter to someone you love. An actual letter, with a stamp and everything. I'd start out with a family member or a friend. Let's bring back the anticipation and joy of sending a receiving letters. Shopping for stationary is also exciting... but that's me. Enjoy!

How are you connecting with people today? How honest are your relationships? Do you take time to think before you speak? Be open and communicate thoughtfully. Take time to sit down and focus on your key relationships. Tell you're partner or special people in your life how much you love them and remember kindness goes a long way. Write a happy note and leave it somewhere as a surprise. Life needs to have fun secrets. Engage and feel true.

Be well!