Relevance

This is a big word. It's a relevant word in our society today (#wordplay).

There was a time, when being a part of something meant being a part of something manageable. Today, there are too many opportunities to get lost in the sea of information and connection. Social media makes it possible for us to learn things almost instantly. We have become a society that is addicted to giving and receiving information. You probably won’t get to the end of this, because you have something else you want to see. I get it, I do that too. We're afraid of becoming irrelevant, unnoticed, forgotten, which isn’t new, but it’s reinforced every time we check our phones. Wanting to be popular is part of being human, and in a way, surviving. Human beings have been gifted with higher levels of thinking, so thus the fear of death turns into the fear of being forgotten. Humans strive to have a legacy, whether that's intentional or not. We want to keep up with what's popular, it's always been that way because we associate popularity with success and success with wealth.

This concept of relevance has become a dominant force in how we live our lives daily, or even from minute to minute. Facebook, Instagram and a handful of other sites have taken advantage of our need to be relevant, to be remembered. They have taken advantage of our noted fears. We have become slaves to our phones and computers and unable to disconnect or look away. Our babies know how to use a phone before they can talk. We take pictures of what we eat, our feet, our faces, our children, our homes, our adventures hoping that someone is paying attention. We hope that someone cares enough about us to look at those things and click "like". We want to be important. Maybe we hope to be famous one day? People want to be seen so much that it becomes an addiction and when we are overlooked, we feel rejected.

I grew up in the 80's and 90's and maybe I miss it. I miss when things were simpler and you had to work a little harder for things (do I sound old?) Maybe I miss sitting at my kitchen table talking on a rotary phone. Maybe I miss having to get on my bike and go to a friend’s house to see them. Maybe I miss the closeness of being with my tribe and hearing from their own lips what's happening in their lives. We weren't beholden to the rest of the world to make a statement every day. Community meant coming together, making an effort to break bread at the same table, to share stories, or be vulnerable while holding a friends hand. I feel these things are fading as we become more and more absorbed into our presence online. Yes, people still do these things and we're not complete robots (yet) but it feels we're heading in that direction. It takes more effort to get together. People look on Facebook instead of reaching out. People assume their friends or family are fine because posts reflect a thriving lifestyle. I work in crisis intervention and I can tell you that people feel disconnected. They feel isolated. They feel everyone in the world has it together but them. People are constantly saying, "I don't want to burden my family and friends with that." People would rather commit suicide than reach out to family for support? Or show the world they don't live a perfect life? Guys, that's huge.

Einstein once wrote, "I believe that the abominable deterioration of ethical standards stems primarily from the mechanization and depersonalisation of our lives—a disastrous byproduct of science and technology."

I kinda agree. The phone/computer has become so much of a distraction that we stay in our bubble. We retreat and fail to step into places where we could potentially grow and change. We have become a society where we worship fame, because we long to be seen and want to be important. We see groups, we see clothing, we see where people live, we see images. We believe what we see and don't think of the layers underneath. It's easy to just assume we know. It's easy to just focus on ourselves and occasionally reach out to others when it's convenient for us. Is this really what we want to be? Why is our world so polarized? Because we live online and listen to people to reinforce our beliefs of the world whether it’s true or not.

I had a moment the other day. I came to this sad realization that social media isn't about connecting with others on the whole, it's about self-absorption. Then I asked myself, why? What's driving me to be on these sites? Am I ever going to make the difference I want to make? The odds that I reach anyone or that anyone even reads this blog are low. The odds that I'll create a platform where millions of people will be interested are a fraction of a percentage. I’m on social media these days because I enjoy sharing and teaching. If one person is impacted by what I write or encouraged by what I make and do, then I’m happy. Do I want to be relevant, of course I do. I want to make a difference and I am in small ways. I have learned that what other people think of me doesn’t dictate how I think about myself.

Life is about the moment you’re in and learning how to be content with who you are. It's about the people you have around you and building positive healthy relationships. The more I remove myself from social media, the more I'm able to see things clearly, I'm able to engage with my immediate environment. I encourage you to take breaks from social media. I encourage you to take time to reach out to people and engage intimately with people in your life. If you're feeling alone, reach out. Don't isolate and think you're irrelevant because people don't respond to your posts. You're relevant because you are here! You are a part of this world and that's important. I encourage you to realize that there is no one in the universe like you. Take a minute to sit with that and know your biggest task is “liking” yourself.

“You are a very special person. There is only one like you in the whole world. There's never been anyone exactly like you before, and there will never be again. Only you. And people can like you exactly as you are.” Fred Rogers, Life's Journeys According to Mister Rogers: Things to Remember Along the Way