You Don't Own Me.

I like to exercise sometimes. I say sometimes because I'd rather be doing anything else. I know it’s good for me, I know it makes me a happier person, and I can have a glass of wine when it’s over. Tonight, just like any other time, I dragged my ass outside and went for a brisk walk. I had my show tunes on, I stopped and spoke to a few neighbors, and I carried on. On this particular evening I was holding tight to my phone. Overall, I’m angry. Yes, another angry woman. Why so angry you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

I became a mother almost two years ago. I became a mother to a white male. Today, a brave woman stood in front of the whole world and told her story, a hard story to tell. She was dignified, graceful and strong. Today, a man also told his story and shed a tear, making clams of innocence. Who is right? Who is wrong? To me, I guess, that’s not what I’m thinking about. I’m thinking about the fact that not only one, several women have come forward giving us a bleak picture of a man’s character, potential elements of himself that he adamantly denies. I was holding tight to my phone tonight, in a deep rage, because I feel like I keep hearing the same story over and over again. Like others, I’m tired. As a woman I’m tired. When these arguments around sexual assault go to those in power, they should be handled with diligence and respect. I'm not seeing that. They are setting a precedent. No matter if a man may have raped a woman in the past, NO MATTER WHAT, they are allowed to lead; they are allowed to progress to power. What the hell is going on?

White men are telling the stories and are always treated as credible sources. They are able to be accused of rape several times and still become the President of the United States. They are able to treat women like play things, and it’s “just what guys do.” Women are being stripped of their dignity, and the men responsible are being promoted. Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny. Brave women are getting up in front of the world and telling their stories of abuse and being told they are attention seekers, political ploys, mentally ill. They are receiving death threats. DEATH THREATS?? Yet, the men being called out just keep denying, maybe shed a tear, and are elected to high political offices. What world are we in? Was this always the case? Have I been living under a rock? When did woman become hysterical again? Is Freud back? Did I mistakenly walk into a time machine? Seriously, am I in another dimension? Am I in some weird dream state? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

I’m still asked why I didn’t take my husband's last name. I didn’t want to, I like my last name. Even though my husband comes from a culture where women don’t take their husband’s name, I still get judgy remarks. Why? Why in 2018 is that strange or seen as disrespectful? I don’t belong to my husband any more than he belongs to me. He doesn’t want to own me and I don’t want to own him. I married a man that loves my strength. He loves me as a person, not as an object or a plaything. As a heterosexual male he’s very happy I have a vagina, but it’s not his, it’s mine and I allow him to use it. That’s important. I ALLOW HIM, I LET HIM, AND I GIVE HIM CONSENT TO USE IT.

For several men on the planet, billions in fact, that’s not a difficult concept to grasp. There are several men that, in fact, don’t rape women. There are plenty of men in public offices that don’t rape women or have allegations of rape against them. There are good men out there. They admit when they’ve done something wrong. We’ve somehow managed to elect the worst examples of men into some of the highest offices in the land. How has that happened? How have we allowed that to happen? How have we set this example for our boys? “Hey son, you can do anything you want to a girl even if they say no, just don’t get caught and one day you can run the world. Just deny everything that happened and you’ll be fine.”

YOU DON’T OWN ME! I’ll say that over and over again until my throat bleeds. My vagina, my uterus, my womanhood is not a joke. When I say I’ve been raped, I expect to be taken seriously. I don’t expect to be treated like a hysterical child. I’ve created life! I have duty a to show my little boy that I am strong, that women are to be respected at all times. I am not here for amusement. I am not here to be treated like an object. I am not anyone else other than myself. And if you want to compare me to other women, I will shut you down. We are not all the same. We are wonderfully diverse. Some of us are shitty and some of us are liars but that doesn’t mean we’re all shitty liars.

I am strong, I am fierce, and I will not allow you…. MAN…. to take away my voice and put me in some pink box. YOU DON’T OWN ME! No more silence. No more.

FEAR IS INHIBITION. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. Let’s not be afraid anymore, ladies. Get out there and join in. Raise your voice! Stand up higher in the crowd. You are valuable! We need to show our children that we are not weak, we are not afraid, and we are to be respected and heard. The time for fear is over. It's time to make them listen. VOTE!

Be fierce, my friends.